Fantasy
by DesertFlower303
Summary: A dream, a man, a fantasy and a longing to know more about the two...


Title: Fantasy

Author: Daylight

Summary: A dream, a man, a fantasy and a longing to know more about the two...

Spoilers: Matrix (minor).

Rating: (PG) quite tame, but contains many concepts and symbolism that some youngins might not be able to understand.

Category: Mystery/Fantasy/Angst

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the Matrix cause then I'd be filthy rich! But I love writing fan fiction so it's all good. The Wachowski bros rock and I applaud their excellence, because I can borrow it to entertain ya' all. (and I still wanna own Neo. ;D)

Thanks: To my nutty friend the Protectress of Dalidon who told me this should be published, my lovely darling ttlg. (I miss you heaps! We all do!), Zelda Dragon for all her support and encouragement, to SilverAshes for being my fellow Keanu nut and of course to the Wachowski bros for their excellence. Oh, and all of you lovely people for encouraging me to keep writing. YOU DUDES ROCKETH MUCH!

Author's Notes: This is another one I previously published which has gone through some reworking, so I'd love to see what you think about it. Enjoy!

* * *

**Fantasy**

****

****

_''It's dark tonight.'' _

''It's always dark here.''

_''Who are you?'' _

_''Just a friend.'' _

_''But how do I know if you're a friend? I don't even know your name.'' _

_''You don't need to Neo. When the time comes you'll find out. Right now it's not important.'' _

_''It's important to me!'' _

_''Why?'' _

_''Because I wanna know what my fantasy's name is. What good is having you but not knowing your name?'' _

_''Don't you like a little mystery once in a while?'' _

_''No.'' _

_''Why not?'' _

_''Because I like feeling in control of my life.'' _

_''You can't control everything Neo.'' _

_"Why not?" _

_"You're not ready yet...besides, this is just a dream." _

"If this is just a dream then why does it feel so real?"

_"Because your mind makes it real." _

_"If my mind's making this real, how come I can't touch you?" _

_"I already told you Neo. You can't control everything." _

_''But this is my dream...shouldn't I be able to control you?'' _

_''If that's what you call control.'' _

_''Then why can't I know your name?'' _

_''Because you don't know me yet.'' _

_"Are you saying that you aren't just a part of my imagination?" _

_"Yes." _

_"But...how is this possible? I've never seen you before in my life... how is it possible to dream about someone who's real when you don't know them?" _

_"I don't have all the answers for you right now Neo. Some things you're going to have to wait to find out." _

_''Then why are you here?'' _

_''You don't know?'' _

_''No.'' _

_''You ever heard of de' ja vu?'' _

_''Yes.'' _

_''Then you'll know me when you see me. Until then... keep dreaming...'' _

* * *

Neo's eyes snapped open as he jerked into consciousness. His pulse was racing, his face and palms slick with sweat and his breath ragged and shallow. _Why am I so anxious?_ He couldn't help thinking as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. _It must've been something I was dreaming_, he tried to rationalise as he drowsily gazed over at the clock. 6:47am. _Oh well, the alarm would have gone off soon anyway_.

He got out of bed, hopped in the shower for a few minutes, then dressed in his mundane everyday attire. Grey suit, white shirt, stripped tie, black shoes. It all seems so distant somehow, like a dream, except he was awake… wasn't he? Something about whatever he'd been dreaming bothered him, but he couldn't pinpoint why. Hell! He couldn't even remember what it was he'd dreamed! How the was he supposed to figure out what was bothering him about it?

The thought lingered as he hopped into his car and began the long drive to work, passing car after car of blissfully ignorant drivers who probably didn't go completely insane every night only to wake up later and never realise why they felt like there was something seriously wrong with the world. For a few moments Neo almost envied them. _It must be great to be able to accept your existence as something valid and worth while without constant uncertainty._

He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice the questioning and bewildered glances of other employees as he walked into the office. They weren't used to seeing him on time, much less early. He was aware of the boss saying something about applause and turning up on time and something else equally condescending.

He was aware of starting up the computer, writing his latest design brief to run past his anal retentive boss for evaluation and hopefully approval. But more than anything he was aware of the horrible emptiness surrounding it all. Everything around him just seemed so wrong, so disjointed, so out of place. It felt like one of those surrealist worlds Van Gogh would've painted. The worst part however was that he didn't even know where these feelings were coming from. All he knew was that it must have something to do with whatever it was that his subconscious mind wouldn't let him remember about the previous night's dreamland adventures.

Something kept tugging at his mind, his heart, his very soul to remember what was said, what had happened, anything at all to ease his anxiety about the previous night's imagery. It was almost as bad as forgetting your best friend's name and then seeing them and not knowing what to call them, all the time feeling the guilt and anguish of letting something so vital slip your mind. But with that thought came another, a half realised truth that saddened him to the core of his meaningless existence. _I've never even had a best friend..._ If this was all there was to life, an endless charade of people doing what their responsible minds told them to do and then wondering later why they weren't happy, Neo wanted out.

Anger seemed to drive him through the rest of the day. Anger at the world, anger at the industry he'd thought would bring him happiness as well as wealth and prosperity, anger at his boss for being such an anal retentive tight ass. But most of all, anger at himself for not being able to remember why the hell whatever he'd dreamed was bothering him so much. He'd shown the boss his design brief, had it approved and begun working on the new program designed to strengthen firewalls and decrease virus susceptibility. It would have been a perfectly normal and perhaps even happy day had he not been so plagued by his thoughts.

Something tugged at his subconscious, somehow telling him to awaken. A faint whisper, someone calling his name... He opened his eyes, blinking away the sleepiness and wincing slightly at the stiffness in his lower back. _Fell asleep at the computer again_ he mused _should probably stop doing that._ Then his eyes focused on the monitor.

"What the hell!" He grunted, bewildered.

The words ''Wake up Neo,'' appeared on the screen in little green characters. He tried to exit the window but it wouldn't work. Someone had seriously fucked with his computer! Either that or he was going insane. Both options sounded very likely at that moment. But that wasn't it. Next came the words, ''The matrix has you,'' and then ''Follow the white rabbit.''

Things were starting to get extremely creepy. _What the hell is happening? _He couldn't help thinking as the words ''Knock knock Neo'' appeared, followed by a knock on his door, jolting him out of his transfixed state he'd slipped into.

''Who is it?'' he called, trying to remain calm through the thick nervousness in his voice.

''It's Choi.'' Came the other voice evenly.

_Thank God!_ Thought Neo _something non freaky to add to my day_.

He opened the door carefully after checking the peephole. He knew he was being paranoid, but he couldn't help it. After the day he'd just had who wouldn't be?

''You're two hours late.'' Neo observed.

''I know." Answered Choi. ''It's her fault,'' he mused gesturing to Dujour who was hanging off him mysteriously.

''You got the money?'' Neo continued, being as professional as he could in his state of mind.

Choi visibly winced slightly as most men do at the thought of giving up a particularly large amount of money as he held out the notes to Neo. ''Two grand.'' He confirmed with a sigh.

Neo took the money and murmured something about just taking a second as he looked for the right disc in his secret hiding place disguised as a book. When he returned Choi's face lit up slightly at the site of the software he'd desperately needed to continue his illegal operations. Not that Neo could talk, being one of the most powerful and prominent hackers known in his circle. Still there was that distant confusing thought that always prodded his mind when he thought about these things, that it all seemed fake somehow.

''You're my saviour,'' Choi was saying extremely gratified. ''My own personal Jesus Christ.''

''You get caught using that...'' Neo began to warn him, ignoring the obvious fandom.

Choi cut him off. ''Yeah, I know. It's never happened. You don't exist.''

That last line struck a chord with Neo_. I don't exist?_ He thought, not sure why those words bothered him so much. ''Right...'' He muttered softly more to himself than anyone else. This day was becoming more and more confusing every second.

Choi seemed amused. ''Hey, are you okay man? You look a little whiter than usual.''

Neo ignored the subtle teasing as he began to try to explain what had been happening before Choi showed up. He quickly decided against it and instead settled for, ''You know that feeling where you're not sure whether you're awake or still dreaming?'' _Well it's better than having everybody else think I'm going insane as well as myself. _He rationalised.

''Mmm all the time,'' Choi breathed knowingly. ''It's called Mescaline. It's the only way to fly."

Neo resisted the urge to be defensive and remind Choi that he wasn't on drugs, although it must have looked that way a lot of the time.

"I mean, it just seems like you might need to unplug you know? Get some R&R?'' His tone was faintly patronising but Neo didn't really notice. He was too confused to care, lost in his own thoughts. ''Hey, what do you think Dujour? Should we take him with us?''

Neo gazed down at Dujour who, not so subtly, was checking him out.

''Definitely.'' She confirmed seductively, another not so subtle invitation in her eyes.

Neo wasn't so keen. ''I can't. I have work tomorrow.'' He stammered nervously. The last thing he needed right now was some girl he didn't want after him.

''Come on...'' Dujour prodded. ''It'll be fun, I promise.''

And then he saw it. Dujour rested her hand on Choi's shoulder and there it was… a small white tattoo of a white rabbit. He didn't think. He acted on the gut impulse rising in him. ''Yeah. Sure, I'll go.''

No sooner had Neo entered the club did he regret it. _What the hell am I doing here!_ He thought awkwardly as he got himself a drink and stood against a wall hugging himself very self-consciously. At least Dujour didn't seem to be that interested in him anymore, but that didn't make this pace any more comfortable. He shook his head, feeling stupid. _I don't belong here! This is crazy! _He thought. But no sooner had the thought crossed his mind, did he feel an unusually strong presence behind him. He turned to see a pair of strangely familiar icy blue/green eyes boring into his. His mouth opened slightly as she moved closer, not breaking the gaze.

''Hello Neo.'' She said casually, eyes still locked with his.

At first he was even more protective, breaking the gaze for a moment as he stammered defensively, ''How do you know that name?'' He was more than a little obviously unsettled and that put a slight grin on her face.

''I know a lot about you.'' She answered simply with a hint of mischief, but her knowingly piercing eyes spoke of something much more...

''Who are you?'' Neo asked just as he realised why she seemed familiar. He'd met her before somewhere... but where… _Oh my God!_ He thought as it finally dawned on him like a flash of lightning. She was woman from his dream.

* * *

_''Then you'll know me when you meet me. And then you'll find out my name…"_

* * *

_I don't want to dream anymore!_ Neo thought fiercely. _Give me something to believe in!_

He didn't even realise he'd been holding his breath until she spoke again and all his senses ignited within him, like she'd somehow opened the gates to a flood of emotions he hadn't let himself feel in a long time, taking down all his defences with just four little words.

''My name is Trinity.''

Neo swallowed nervously, eyes widening slightly as he turned fully towards her gazing deeply into those icy depths of blue. _Talk about a gut feeling!_ He thought as his stomach fluttered unbelievably at her intense gaze.

This didn't answer all his questions. Not by far! But it did answer the one that mattered right there and then. His fantasy was real: heart, body, and soul...and she had a name...the gentle whisper of a once plaguing dream...

''Trinity...''


End file.
